12 posts tagged “life”

a question for everyone who is reading this..

do you really know where are you going in your life?
or you're just living?

i hope to see some thoughts.. i like discovering mindsettings and higher levels of thinking than just dealing with daily life things...

haha,, slept like a baby.. :p ( im just being nice to myself ) ...

woke up at around 3 in the afternoon.. then went out from some chilling with my friend, had some break-launch both at one time from McDonald's,, then we went to my place where i always sit down and do nothing but enjoying myself when i do nothing useful at all but listening to music and looking at the people passing by.... :)

and had a game finally,, we lost 1-5 hahaha..! yea, i don't know why we were playing if we're loosing like this,, but we played against a good team, and most of my friends didn't play for a long time.. i didn't play the whole last month.. so did one of my friends.. and it was fucking COLD.. ! now it's 2 degrees ! and we were playing at a temp of 8 ! hahaha,, one of our team was playing with his hands inside his pockets.. ! haha.. and when i was running in the 2nd half i could feel the muscle strain... i couldnt run.. !

i was hoping that i don't injure myself because of the freaking cold though i warmed up for like 20 minutes... but man i was running all around the midfield,, and the other team were attacking by 2 or 3 players in my side.. and my other midfield players were total shit.. they gave up.. !

and i had a fight with one of the other team.. he was a bitch, a real one.. ! i made a foul against him,, and it wasnt any strong tackle or something,, i went down to tackle him but i couldnt,, so when i was down, i grabbed his leg with my foot,, just to make a simple foul to stop the game,, like a tactical thing... but he was shouting " heeyy,,what's wrong with you... " and i didn't say a thing,, woke up and gave him my back,, and he started again " heeyy,, you better watch how you play,, we don't have to hurt each other " ,, then i said " it's a foul,, you want a foul? shut up " ... and gave him my back,,, and then he was shouting and shouting and made a fuss ! then he said " i'm gonna be bigger than and i won't talk " here i laughed at him.. haha,, and told him " yea ,, you do that ,, i didn't tell you to be,, but if you want,, then thank you " .. hehe then one of the other team came and said man it's ok we came here playin .. and i said,, you heard me sayin a thing? it was a foul and i gave him his foull and he started shouting.. i didn't say a thing,, he started by himself...

it was fun to see him shouting and me laughing.. ! :D

but my friends said that i played well tonight.. actually i know i did,, but i lacked the assistance in the area...

and that was it... i ate so much for dinner,, i almost had a meal and a half.. and 2 Pepsis ... because it is COLD as hell, i was wearing a  sweater and a long sleeve and my valencia shirt... ! and i was wearing a long underpants and 2 socks.. ! hahah,, like a freaked out old lady,, but gettin some kind of strong contact in that cold is more like a hammer knocking on the leg.. !

and this was it... 

well,, i came up with a result for my life tests that i had in the past few months..

LESS FRIENDS = LESS PROBLEMS.... at least for me.. well yea sometimes it should go this way.. and it should be this way.. yea,, i have less number of people to rely on,, less close friends,, but seems like i had better people to rely on this time.. better people to trust.. people that i can call and talk to in whatever thing i find and still can get something back from them that helps..

not that i quit my social life, not at all... but i'm kind of more careful when it comes to talkin about my life and asking someone for something... yea i know sometimes i'm over-counting on my friends and it's hard on them, but thank god they understand it.. they know the problems i had and they showed their total support... and as far as i know,, those who lost me are stuck in their problems, all i see from them is someone cryin,, another one being cheated on from his girlfriend and i'm not interfering ,, and a 3rd that is stuck in the middle of his life with almost no friends, and a 4th just realizing that " it sucks to feel disappointed in a friend, but hey this is life " ..hahaha,, ! not  saying that im happy that this thing is happening to them,, but let's face it, they know i was helping them in their lives and problems..

good to know that your friends know how important you are to them, but they refuse to show you that because they're to kiddo to say that they were wrong.. proves to me how lucky i am to leave this group of friends for just a MAN and a GIRL.. and yea you can tell i've learned A LOT!!  and i've grown up...

as for the growing up thing,, i feel that these days of my life are the most important days of my life.. because now,, i learn from every single situation,, every word said in every conversation is now a lesson for me.. every word i hear from a friend or from a guy i talk to turns to be a way of changing my way of responding to it to a better way of dealing with people..
Now, every situation i go through with anyone of my friends or any one of my teachers,, or even anyone is a scene that i play in my mind to take what i need from it.. transform it ( i just heard this word ) to a way of reacting to the same situation again.. not to fall in the same mistakes twice.. not to go through the same life i've been through in the past..
I do lots and lots of mistakes, yet i learn from them.. i wasn't born perfect,, and will not be,, but i can always be a better person than who i am now.. now i know that i am a bigger person, who has a more of a peaceful mind,, yea not a peaceful one.. but the space of calm thinking of my situation now is gettin bigger and bigger, letting me more of a balanced person between my thoughts and my actions.. my feelings and my real life situation.. i'm more of a deeper person from the inside... deeper than ever.. someone who looks like a grown up now.. who is a grown up now.. who you can count on, and it shows that people can count me... coz people do this now more than ever.. people are depending on me in this phase of life,, and i'm not letting them down... coz i worth this trust.. and i'm up to it.. :)

Lessons Learned.... Next Chapter of Life.. Welcome!
:D

List five reasons (at least) why you are awesome.
Submitted by goobers18.

since it's been some time since i did a QotD, why not to do this one and go sleep after..

- i'm fun to be around ( thank god,, everyone in school knows im the guy with a smile on his face all the time )
- i'm a Leo.. ! ( a big reason )
- i'm an honest guy... don't play games,, and people dont want to play games with me coz im not stupid..
- i'm skinny..! haha,,, i love it becoz everyone else is either fat or fit.. ! ;p
- i don't mind having fun any possible time..
- i am awesome because i am me..
- i can't count the reasons... there are infinte number of reasons that make me Awesome.. :D
- let's say Confidence.. i got lots of it.. thank god for that too.. it's a blessing.. =)

well,, thanks to my friend Dave who brought this up,, but are we really happy?

i was reading in my last book, and i like how this man is writing,, inspirational stuff..

The Witch of Portobello

Paulo Coelho

yet, it was somehow so true... i'm gonna quote some words from one of the main characters in the novel talking about the happiness we claim to search for..

Edda: " Everything is at once so simple and so complicated!, simple because all it takes is change of attitude : i'm not gonna look for happiness anymore in my life. and complicated because everyone has taught me that happiness is the ultimate goal worth pursuing..
after all what is happiness?
they say LOVE, but love is never has brought happiness, it's a constant state of anxiety, it's sleepless nights. it's asking ourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. Real Love is composed of Ecstasy and agony.

All right then peace? Earth is never at peace ( it happens in the novel to call earth as the mother for a reason but im referring to it's name ) the winter does battle with the summer, the tiger chases the man who's afraid of the dog, who chases the cat, who chases the mouse, who frightens the man.

Money brings Happiness.in that case, everyone who earns enough to have a high standard of living would be able to stop work. but then, they're more troubled than ever, as if they were afraid of losing everything.

i spent my life looking for happiness, now what i want is joy. Joy is like sex - it begins and it ends. i want pleasure.

i asked people the most important question: " are you happy? ", and they all reply: " yes i am! " then i ask: " But don't you want more? Don't you want to keep on growing?" and they all reply: "Of course" then I say: " Then you're not Happy!" ..

we're surrounded by Universal Desire. It's not Happiness, It's Desire. and desires are never satisfied. because once desires are there, the are ceased to be desires.

When i read those words, i couldn't believe what i was thinking that happiness is what i'm looking for.. i was looking for joy, but i was saying for happiness.. but i didn't know that.

Amazing Paulo Coelho.. i got so much respect for the man..

what do you think? Are we Really Happy? according to these words, we can't be happy.. because we keep asking for more, but are we enjoying our lives? this should be the question.. we can't stop asking for more "happiness" which happens to mean here our "JOY" ... living each moment of happiness is enjoying them.. this is it exactly.. i don't know what to say.. i'm again in one of those crossroads where i have to stop and think a lot about my life.. im just in a state of losing my concentration because of the busy mind i carry wherever i go. I'm less focused now because problems keep popping along the way. once before i was more concentrated, that was like 2 months ago but change is the only constant thing, isn't it..

well,, now that i passed the number of 1000 visitors to my beloved vox blog... i can accept your gifts and congratulations you people out there.. ;)
in exactly 19 days... say 20.. which leaves us in a number of 50 visits per day.. NIICCEEE... !!
well,, i never expected to be this popular.. ! lol ... ( now im over reacting.. ! )

i just want to say,, thank you guys and girls,, ladies and gentlemen,, kids and adults,, gays and lesbian people visiting this small life reflecting space of free of speech.. stupidity,, and love thing going around from time to time.. i never thought i'd reach this level..i always thought that this blog will end up with my closest friends who dont have a vox account ( i swear ,, i explained to them so many times how blogging is amazing,, specially in vox ) but they're not convinced..but now,, i know i'm wrong.. ( i hope i'm loved somewhere around here haha.. ) ! well,, back to the 1K .. ! haha,, nice again.. !

now i just stopeed around here to discuss an issue of " being proud of yourself all the time " thing... saying ,, even i do mistakes,, i can be proud of myself.. because i learn from what i do.. i become angry at myself,, but never ashamed.. because  if i don't live proud of myself and be confident that i am and sure that i;m proud of myself, then i'll be eaten alive around here in this life.. we gotta be strong i guess.. yea,, here,, this showing off thing ends.. ! haha !

so,, i felt angry somehow today.. i dont know why,, but life is not so colorful these past few days.. well,, was good but  i somehow was bored and with nothing to do.. and i wanted chocolate milk for 2 days... so i went to buy some chocolate milk,, but ended up paying around 15 pounds for junk food.. and this includes :

DSC00598

- pringles BBQ
- lays ( ketchup, salty )
- 6 chocolate milk
- Oreo minis ( thats for a ride in the car.. :p )
- 3 Kinder Bueno
- 3 M&Ms crispy..
- Kit Kat with orange flavor ( which ironically,, makes me smile when i eat it.. yea it does,, like some taste that makes you happy )
- Freez ( Lemon, pomegranate and raspberry )
- emm,,, what else... i guess that's it.. !

and you can see how much i respect my books that i put the food above one of them.. ! actually i love this book.. !

Ok now people of Vox.... it's time for me to go read my novel,, eat some of the food i bought.. then fall asleep.. waiting for another day,, another story... =)

another state of nothing in mind but some stupidity.. ! :Dand i love it this way.. SIMPLEEEEE.. !!

i got no1 around me now... im all alone..
im left out without my love , , my friend... no1 around... just my best friend Thomas... who i just can read what he's sayin through the msn window.. so far away and all alone im alone... just like what the song says.. i cannot think of anything...

this state of confustion,,, thinkin about so many things all at once makes ur head like an old man's head.. think for 2 minutes then he dies coz he cannot.. it sucks when u cannot think coz ur head can't stand thinkin this much.. u need naother one to get ur life straight again...

life sucks after all... living a lie? i dont know what im living now.. its just that my life is not big enought for me.. it cannot stand me like this... im too different that i cant get along with this way of living... its so hard to live in peace with everything...

in the end,,, they say que sera sera ! or whatever happens, happens... fuck it... i wana restart this life.. start again from scratch... change everything aorund... EVERYTHING...EVERYTHINGG.. !! a fresh start is what i need...a fresh start yea... but it's just so hard to this now.. i dont know how coz i've never been in busy months like what i've been through now.. somehow,, it seems like that im living a life full of shit that i cant take it,, or that the way i live is just shit.. total shit..

so,, this is like the biggest story in one of my best friends' life... he told us last week that he's gettin married n shit.. we were all shocked coz he never said a thing about it.. yea he said that he wanted to get married but not this soon, well, he also told us that the lucky one is his cousin.. Why? coz he knew that she loves him n she wanted him.. and then he went to ask her hand from his grandma coz she's an orphan ... and well,, her grandma said yess and all .. he was seeing her the last week and he was so excited..

he's been asking me everyday about love stuff ( coz im like his relationships shrink )! hahah.. coz he knows about my gf and how long we've been together.. and yea i was givin him some help... and i was about to go with him to see pirates of the Caribbean today with him .. called him and he said 'no i can't come'.. and i was like what's wrong ,, he said it was nothing.. i felt like there is somethin wrong about his wedding thing .. about afternoon, he called me tellin me " i want to study,, you should help me do the homework - like i really can help myself 1st - i'm comin to you" .. and i said,, Ok ... when he came  i asked him what's wrong,, and he said " there is no wedding,, we broke  this thing up! " and i was like i know it...' what's wrong? ' he told me that she was plannin to use him as a bridge to force her GF that my friend didn know about to marry her.. she FUCKIN CHEATED ! and she was tellin my friend before that the she wants to live with him through it all .. !! FUCKER ! well,, when my friend knew about her ,, he was so angry ,, so was his whole family coz they didn expect this very good girl to do such thing... !! that was what she was showin her family,, that she's a good girl.. ! he was tellin me ,, " don't u ever be a good guy.. you have to be the dirtiest to live " and i was like sayin in my head  ' hahah ,, too late to tell me,, i am already the dirtiest !'... Yea,, so this was some excitement comin to my daily life again... im so sorry for my friend coz he was livin a dream, and he was askin me about relationships and how to manage your life with the one you want and all the other stuff..! and he was spreading the news that he's gettin married and everything... well,, i feel him.. and i feel sorry for him.. wanted to go out with him for dinner or so , just to take him out of his shitty mood but he said " i want to think about it" ! and i said ,, man you got the whole night,, just let's go for an hour so we can have some fun and he refused.. he wanted some thinking time.. !

 so,,, sad story... it ends here ,,, close the book ! " Life is the best Teacher " ... i guess,,

WELL IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING THIS ,, SOMETHING HAPPENED !!! :

a friend of mine callin me,, 

WHere are you ?

me - i'm home  ... why ?

my car is dead .. there is a cracking in the gear and it doesn move.. you gotta come to take me,, lets find a wench.. to take the car home.. !

- ( in my head : wtf with this timeing,, it's almost midnight ) Ok where are you ? I'm comin now..  

and i went to take him,, looked for a crane to lift his car up to his home,, talked about how shitty this life is .. and how fake are friends these days.. and yea,, he was fucked up,, and i was bored .. some the combination mixed very well and the result was " 10 minutes full of shit! "....

came back home,, continued this post ... to let the world read it.. !

hahaha.. i skipped some skool just to go see the movie.. well, a friend told me not to give some high expectations for it.. and he was wrong ! this movie is the best this year so far.. although it was  a VERY long movie but i never felt the time passing... well, from the 1st scene i saw some good pictures,, some amazing angles for the cameras... i knew it's gonna be something HUGE.. and it was ..

everything in the movie was done in a VERY good way... yea,, the comdey never stops with captain jack sparrow... there's nothing that you can compare to his 1st scene in the movie .... hehehehe ... he's just amazing... the battle in the end is so great... !! yea.. the amazing thing in this movie that it carries you in action from the 1st minute ... as if there is no start.. it just hits from the 1st minute... to the 1993084th minute the movie ends at.. heheh... full of action,, full of fun .. full of everything!!!

what was great too in this movie that the things johnny depp did was unbelievable... i mean no one was expecting him to do everything he did in this movie.. everything was stupid.. Yea.. in every single scene ,, his stupidity was there... and im with stupid.. ! :D

Bloom's black costume in the end made me want to wear pirates clothes and just go out.. yeaa ,, IT WAS SO GOOD !! heheheheh .. ( now this sounds gayish! =/ ).... and the monkey was just another movie.. ! =p

and no need to talk about her majesty,, Keira Knightley... <3

i guess im gonna go see it again ... =D

....yea,, so lets just change the subject a little bit..

so i got like 5 Kd... which is around 20 dollars.. =0 ... so this means im officialy broke.. yea,, this money from the college doesn seem to come .. it was supposed to be in our hands the last week,, yet nothing shows up.. !! and they told us it'll be in our accounts on monday .. i mean today.. but i just checked.. and there's like 3 dollars only .. ! heheheh... so,, if there's nothing in my account till Wednesday,, im gon kill myself..

another thing to talk about? Ok Lets move on... !  =p

so,, i start my final exams on thursday.. i got 2... and another one in sunday,, tuesday,, then i finish on the next Thursday... WELL i'll be dead after that day.. but who cares.. im dead anyway .. !! =p hope i can do something good... pass all my courses,, do something i can be proud of! yea,, been through alot this semester,, but yet,, here we go.. its time... ! but i guess im movin ahead a bit... yea,, it's kinda hard.. but im Ok now.. i managed to push myself up,, and it worked... !! =) 

SO,, this might be my last in a while.. hehehe.  so,, till then,, hope to come back with good news.. though i know will not stand a week without writing here.. ! =,)

VAMOS 7AMANITO!!! =)

I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you...

God i love this version of the song....

it's 1000 times better than the original one...

The sacrifice of hiding in a lie....The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away...

i wonder how can LP write such powerful lyrics... they're amazing... and Chester is a hell of a vocalist..

LP are one of the best bands alive...

Chester